gamsee:

how do you start a conversation with someone without sounding lame do you just be like Hey man how many cool scooter tricks can u do

termsofenragement:

Corporate social media accounts just remind me of this:

repeating-serenity:

my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”

sueting:

electroego:

and they say gay marriage is unnatural 

i’m screaming so hard right now ^

a whole raw potato

moltres:

overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

aoisasahina:

WHA TS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEER NUTS AND DEER NUTS

BEER N UTS COST $1.99 AND DEER NUTS ARE UND ER A BUCK

lolsofunny:

dannybriereisaliferuiner:

owning a gun

• is a right

having healthcare

• is a privilege

(lol here!)

zackisontumblr:

vicfuencats:

if you play guitar there is a 372% chance i am sexually attracted to you